Cathy Krafve

Being a single parent without getting on everyone’s nerves

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I first met Betsy Hahn through Women’s Fund. I like Women’s Fund because it allows middle-class gals like me to be big-giving philanthropists. How? By bringing together lots of generous women to pool our resources.

At Women’s Fund events, I get to sit next to dynamic, talented, professional women, like my friend Betsy. Imagine my delight when I got a note from her, sending along the blessing of good questions and a little down-home wisdom to share with other moms.

#1 How can moms talk to boys about sex, relationships, and virtually anythings else? “How do we navigate our sons’ short answers?” writes Betsy, with typical humor, “I want to use few words because that’s his communication mode, but I don’t want to leave anything out!”

#2 As moms, how do we adjust our expectations? “I recommend regular audits of what’s working and what’s not. The big goals stay the same,” she says. “but, what worked in the fall may be outdated by spring.” Letting go of comfortable routines to move forward can be helpful, according to Betsy; changes let your children know they’re allowed to grow up and become independent.

#3 How can single moms encourage and promote male relationships and role models for their sons? “Single moms can feel like a burden on ‘whole families,’” writes Betsy. She really hit the nail on the head here. All families want to be included in fun activities because we all need fellowship.

“There are many reasons, but families with only one parent are often left out or even outright rejected,” Betsy adds.

I’m so glad she brought this up. No one wants to get on everyone else’s nerves. I like sharing ideas on how moms can inspire the right kind of leadership in their sons without any male role modeling at all; please send any you like. God has not left us powerless, no matter our situation.

For instance, Proverbs 31 is a classic approach to how God wants women to raise sons who are good husbands and leaders, even when their father fails. Clearly, Proverb 31 is God’s wisdom from a mom to her son, on leadership for his nation and his family.

Okay, I just realized I haven’t done anything on Proverbs 31 in a while, so watch for column entitled, The Man Guide to Proverb 31. Betsy sent me so much good stuff, I’m saving one of her best points for that column.

She also sent along this fabulous question to ponder: #4 How do we continue to root teens in “the Word Daily”? I love that one so much, I’m asking for your help. Any ideas? What’s working at your house?

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Contact her at CathyKrafve.com.

Best, Betsy

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