My parenting insecurities


Worry reminds me of the way advertisers repackage their toilet boil cleaners. Like the new and improved version of a product nobody actually enjoys buying, my new doubts and fears are just a repackaged version of the old ones I thought I conquered.

This morning, in a flash of brilliance, I realized my old insecurities have been replaced by new ones. We all have insecurities, right? Please, tell me this isn’t just me being my neurotic self!

When I was a young mom I worried. Would my kids be scarred for life by my insecurities? Could I get answers that worked? Was it possible to avoid teen rebellion?

No, my kids are really amazing, often in spite of me. Yes, I found lots of answers that work in scripture and by paying attention to wise people around me. Teenage rebellion turned out to be nothing more than a well-managed, normal transition that went very smoothly, with a lot of prayer, thank you very much. In fact, there are lots of strategies that work well.

This morning’s light bulb moment flashed as my heart churned through the needs of each of my seven grandchildren and their parents. Phew! My prayer auto-settings revert to worry every time I lose focus.

Maybe you, dear reader, remember that my latest claim to fame is the astounding good fortune of getting seven grandchildren in less than 3 years. The seventh is “in utero,” as my obstetrician dad used to say; that is, the baby is on the way as I write.

Driving to work, I rehearse my usual prayer routine. Suddenly, the injustice of life hits me. How in the world can it be fair that after all these years, I still have insecurities!

Here’s the bottom line, I need your help. I finished the manuscript for the book on creating fellowship in marriage. Now, I want to start the one on creating fellowship with kids. But, there’s no point in writing, if no one wants to read the book when I finish. I really need the right questions.

Are you a grandmother, like me, wondering how you can help your kids without getting on their last nerve? Or are you just starting out and looking for better ways to parent? Are you wondering why my generation did things a certain way? Perhaps, you need new strategies because growing up in a dysfunctional family undermines your confidence now.

Please help me by sending me your best, hardest questions. I will find people who can give us great ideas and strategies to try out together on this parenting journey. All questions sent to will be confidential, unless you specifically share a story you want me to pass along. I’m a big believer in borrowing as much wisdom as I can get!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at


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