Solutions for loneliness


We all feel lonely sometimes, but you are not alone. Single people complain about feeling lonely. But, heck, we feel lonely even if we are married.

Especially in marriage, we all search for solutions to loneliness, even in the best marriages. Often, the solution for a lonely marriage comes in the comfort of a trustworthy friend, just like it does for all people.

Years ago, I turned to a friend for comfort as I began to come to terms with my abortion. She wrapped me in her arms and held me while I soaked in her kindness with relief.

I expected rejection. Instead, she told me about a crisis in her past. Flabbergasted, I wondered how we were so close, yet never talked about the most crucial things in our past. In her compassion, I recognized her story as a gift. She offered me compassion and vulnerability freely. I received it gratefully.

All people wonder if we are alone. A lonely marriage is the most lonely place. We consider our past and conclude we are the only one who has ever been so hurt, so mistreated, so wrong. We feel isolated in our pain. My best guess is this is one of the devil’s favorite tricks.

While we are single, we wonder if we are unworthy. Do my friends really love me or are they just putting up with me until they find a spouse? If I changed my hair or my weight, would I be more attractive? What if I never marry, will my life be okay anyway?

When our marriages hit a snag, married people wonder, too. Is it just me? Did I marry the wrong person? Is my marriage hard because I am somehow ill-prepared for a healthy relationship?

We have questions about parenting, too. Will my kids turn out okay? Are my parenting skills good enough? Is there something else I should know before it’s too late?

We have questions about aging, worries about work and finances and Lord only knows what else! When we share our sorrows and fears with someone trustworthy, we discover we are not alone after all. Let’s face it, some of us reach out better than others. For more strategies to boost your companionship factor, go to

Some experiences do require privacy. Yet, we are wise to find a trustworthy friend, sharing gentle companionship in life.

We can all choose trustworthy friends who welcome, rather than reject us. Together, with grace and confidentiality, we can explore any questions, all the challenges and the joys life offers. Our conversations can be full of tenderness and comfort.

When we have the courage to be vulnerable, choosing friends wisely, we are only a short step away from finding the strength we need to transform a loneliness into a victorious life.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at


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