Tips for making mom (or dad) feel at home


At my house, it’s kinda comical, trying to schedule Mom’s doctor’s appointments around my own! Plus, I don’t want to miss the first joyful pediatrician visits with our newest grand. Sandwich Generation families can span four generation now, as we all live longer. So how do we make Mom or Dad feel at home in transitions?

“It’s important to remember they called the shots for 70 years,” says Robin Boyd, host of Passing 50. Robin is one of the few people addressing Sandwich Generation issues on the air waves and the internet, plus she’s just an elegant and kind human being.

Are you are a Sandwicher, like me? Is sandwicher even a word?

Our elders offer a lifetime of wisdom, often condensed into profound soundbites. They deserve our respect expressed in tender, loving care.

Here’s the latest tips Robin gave me on a recent episode (Ripple Effects of Respecting Elders) of Camp Krafve’s new show Fireside Talk Radio.

Tip #1 Create a Team. The greatest challenge is finding ways to finance the care an elder needs. Together, Robin and my cohost Ellen Trant, of Home Instead, both endorse reaching out to all potential team members for ideas, for example like Alzheimers Alliance, Veteran’s groups, or even your case worker at the hospital.

Tip #2 Ask Good Questions. Robin points out that families often hesitate to ask good questions, like about the cost for instance. However, she says asking about cost right up front is your best bet for getting help.

Tip #3 Take Good Notes. Hopefully, your network of helpers includes lots of people working together and keeping communication on track. Robin suggests a notebook, like the one she kept handy in her mom’s room. At Robin’s house, Each expert recorded treatments at each visit with her mom.

Soon, we have a “Taboo Topics” series planned after we wrap up the “Care Giving” series. Then, up next, mental health and racism. We hope you will listen in as people share their most tender stories. Our goal is to spark conversational adventures that create opportunities for families (and communities) to connect in respectful unity and fellowship.

On a Google search, Fireside Talk Radio pops up #4, right after Franklin D. Roosevelt. Thanks to all who have tuned in already! Look out, Mr. President, I’m aiming for #1! Not bad for a small town gal, right? I’m pretty sure Mr. Rosevelt isn’t worried.

Fireside Talk Radio is quickly turning into an unexpected, but enjoyable adventure. I’m grateful for the companionship and compadres discovered in the process. We hope you share our guests’ amazing stories with your friends!

Most importantly, thank you for reading my column. Ten years later, no matter what else God brings my way, I still love writing to you. You are very dear to me.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Contact her at


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